The Spirit Bear Song
Thursday 5 May 2011
Wednesday 4 May 2011
Sunday 1 May 2011
Touching Spirit Bear
Feb 4 1997
Six months ago I was mauled by a bear which was said to live miles away from where I was. He destroyed all of my ribs and rendered my left arm useless. The bone was completely fractured and most of the flesh was torn out. My arm has changed; it is now weak and barely useful. These are traces of the day that the horrific bear physically changed me. This event completely changed the way I live. To recover from these horrific injuries, I was taken to hospital.
In a few days I'm may be returning to the island, just the thought of the melody of the waves crashing to shore and the resonance of trees swaying in the wind terrifies me. Even though I changed the way I think about life, I'm still worried about being denied to let go to the island by the Circle of Justice. I now think of life as something we should respect and cherish. Before I thought about life as dark, black hole that I couldn't escape of. If I will return to the island I will have to adapt to the change of the environment, I will have to learn how to do daily jobs on the island using mostly just my right arm. If I want to stay on the island, I will also have to change my behaviour with Edwin and Garvey. If I won't listen or won't do what they say, they will take me back to Minneapolis and put me in a Detention Center until I will be old enough to go to prison. I am now going to bed, in my cell at the Detention Center.
Six months ago I was mauled by a bear which was said to live miles away from where I was. He destroyed all of my ribs and rendered my left arm useless. The bone was completely fractured and most of the flesh was torn out. My arm has changed; it is now weak and barely useful. These are traces of the day that the horrific bear physically changed me. This event completely changed the way I live. To recover from these horrific injuries, I was taken to hospital.
In a few days I'm may be returning to the island, just the thought of the melody of the waves crashing to shore and the resonance of trees swaying in the wind terrifies me. Even though I changed the way I think about life, I'm still worried about being denied to let go to the island by the Circle of Justice. I now think of life as something we should respect and cherish. Before I thought about life as dark, black hole that I couldn't escape of. If I will return to the island I will have to adapt to the change of the environment, I will have to learn how to do daily jobs on the island using mostly just my right arm. If I want to stay on the island, I will also have to change my behaviour with Edwin and Garvey. If I won't listen or won't do what they say, they will take me back to Minneapolis and put me in a Detention Center until I will be old enough to go to prison. I am now going to bed, in my cell at the Detention Center.
Leaving to the Island
Feb 5 1997I will be leaving to the islasnd tomorrow and I hope that this environmental change won't bring back memories of the bear attack. Seven months ago I was a kid who had no life, I was supposed to go to a detention center for the rest of my time, but because of my mental and spiritual change in the way I think about life I am now being let to have a second opportunity. I know that my future won't be great because of the things I've done but I think that by changing the way that I do things now I should be able to have a more secure and stable job in terms of being fired becaise of my past. Anyway thats a long way ahead, Edwin has helped me out a lot in the circle of justice meetings, not he only has he changed my thoughts about him but it also changed our relationship, we are now close friends, I before thought of him as a person who didn't really care much but from what I've seen and heard he is a a lovable and caring person who loves to help. On the island Edwin will help me with the making of the hut, I hope that he will teach me ways I can control my anger which will help me change the way think about the spirit bear. I don't want to hate the spirit bear because he is the one who made me change in all ways, ut my anger is something that I sometimes can't control, so I need ways to help me control it
Tuesday 26 April 2011
The Island
Feb 6 1997
This morning we arrived at the island. There was the melody of the waves crashing into shore and the resonance of trees swaying in the wind all semeed peaceful now. But it felt like there was something missing. The spirit bear. I changed mentally about the way I fell inregards to the spirit bear. I now wanted to see it. I rapidly asked Edwin if ghe thought that I could see the spirit bear again, and he replied back that I could only see it if I was invisble. I then started building the hut with wood around me, it was hard constructing it wthout the use of my left arm. The incident changed the way I have to eat, and do other daily jobs. Right now I am reflecting on the thing that Edwin said erlier about being invisible. what did he mean? What will happen when I see the spirit bear? will he change me physically by mauling me again? What ever he will do I hope it's not violent.
This morning we arrived at the island. There was the melody of the waves crashing into shore and the resonance of trees swaying in the wind all semeed peaceful now. But it felt like there was something missing. The spirit bear. I changed mentally about the way I fell inregards to the spirit bear. I now wanted to see it. I rapidly asked Edwin if ghe thought that I could see the spirit bear again, and he replied back that I could only see it if I was invisble. I then started building the hut with wood around me, it was hard constructing it wthout the use of my left arm. The incident changed the way I have to eat, and do other daily jobs. Right now I am reflecting on the thing that Edwin said erlier about being invisible. what did he mean? What will happen when I see the spirit bear? will he change me physically by mauling me again? What ever he will do I hope it's not violent.
The River
Feb 7 1997
This morning Edwin woke me up early, I got out of the tent and an awakening glorious looking ray of light hit my eyes, partly blinding me for a few seconds. Edwin started walking into the forest, the ground was still damp. I could feel the bits and pieces of little ground segments sticking to my feet. We walked for 10 minutes and finally Edwin told me to take my clothes off, then he went in a stream a few steps from were I was standing and laid in the water. I slowly slipped in the
water. It was freezing. That changed me mentally, it changed me by making me reflect on what Edwin said about being invisible and I finally got it, you have to be in peace with yourself and the spirit bear would show up. Then after 20 minutes he got out and expected me to follow. I did. So we then got dressed and walked up to this slope, he told me about a rock and how that was his ancestor rock and got his anger to go away by rolling it down the slope in front of us, so he made me carry it up the slope and push it down, after that I didn't really see the point of that, but that really changed me physically, not only my muscles were acing from the building of the hut but also from the rolling of the stone up the hill. I then went back to camp and started building the hut. Later this night we had dinner, edwin then made a lecture on how we should make something special. And that changed me mentally, it changed the way that I thought about things, before they seemed like objects I owned and used, now they are something I own and use, but I also know that if I loose or break them my life will be hard on the island. So I will need to cherish and use carefully all the objects I have, I need to make them special
This morning Edwin woke me up early, I got out of the tent and an awakening glorious looking ray of light hit my eyes, partly blinding me for a few seconds. Edwin started walking into the forest, the ground was still damp. I could feel the bits and pieces of little ground segments sticking to my feet. We walked for 10 minutes and finally Edwin told me to take my clothes off, then he went in a stream a few steps from were I was standing and laid in the water. I slowly slipped in the water. It was freezing. That changed me mentally, it changed me by making me reflect on what Edwin said about being invisible and I finally got it, you have to be in peace with yourself and the spirit bear would show up. Then after 20 minutes he got out and expected me to follow. I did. So we then got dressed and walked up to this slope, he told me about a rock and how that was his ancestor rock and got his anger to go away by rolling it down the slope in front of us, so he made me carry it up the slope and push it down, after that I didn't really see the point of that, but that really changed me physically, not only my muscles were acing from the building of the hut but also from the rolling of the stone up the hill. I then went back to camp and started building the hut. Later this night we had dinner, edwin then made a lecture on how we should make something special. And that changed me mentally, it changed the way that I thought about things, before they seemed like objects I owned and used, now they are something I own and use, but I also know that if I loose or break them my life will be hard on the island. So I will need to cherish and use carefully all the objects I have, I need to make them special
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